El Beso

I've been passing by El Beso (full name: El Beso Mexican Restaurante & Cantina – 5030 S. 74th Street, Greenfield, WI) on my way to Half Price Books for years now, wrongly assuming that its larger-than-life presence in the middle of that shopping center parking lot necessarily means something negative about its quality. Of course, I should know better. When if comes to Mexican restaurants, it really holds true that you can't judge a book by its cover (that is true with all restaurants, of course—I mean, that you can't make assumptions by superficial viewings of the exterior—or even the dining areas—and it's even more true with Mexican restaurants, where often the quality of food seems to follow no logic whatsoever).

I came here in the middle of the afternoon on a summer Monday, expecting it to be as empty and echoey as weekday morning church, but it was bustling, happening, groups of a dozen, the fajitas sizzling and the Margaritas pouring freely. As big as the place looks outside, it feels even bigger inside, like you just took a magical trip to old Las Vegas, and you could get lost trying to find the bathroom, so ask. There's a giant bar, and some high tables, which places always try to seat you at when you're alone, but I hate those high tables and I've taken to requesting to sit anywhere else. They gladly seated me at a booth, and it was perfect. I had a view of the main dining room, and groups who looked like they were having office outings, or retirement parties, who knows. It's so crazy-looking in there, and dark, you do forget you're in a strip mall parking lot for awhile, and that's the point.

I ordered from the lunch menu, which is quite reasonable (the way to go here, if you're on a 2 taco sized budget, like me)—I got a couple of pork tacos with avocado, onions, and cilantro, and rice and beans, all for $10. A giant bowl of chips when I came in, and some very tasty salsa, and it was more than I could eat. I didn't realize it—until I looked at the picture I took of my plate-o-food—but I was bathed in some kind of blue light, I suppose neon. When I used to drink, I would love to find the darkest bar possible on the brightest summer day, and kind of hide out from the sun. You can get that same feeling here, but of course it's not a bar. Even if the drinking that happens here likely rivals most bars in sheer quantity.

Later I looked at the El Beso website—and it's really pretty extensive, and actually helpful. A lot of restaurants either have no website, or have one that looks like it's fulfilling a night-school requirement. The menu part is kind of overwhelming. It makes me want to go back there sometime and try some more specialities. They even have an entire gluten-free section of the website, and on the restaurant menu there are GF indicators. I rarely ever get dessert, ever since I've been more conscious of my mortality, but this one dessert listed here would be a suitable “last meal.” It's called Platanos Machos, and it's described as: “Fried plantains with vanilla ice cream, topped with strawberries, condensed milk, chocolate, caramel, and whipped cream.” Bon appetit, RIP.